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morden

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Racks Up $5 Million in Roaming Charges After Venturing into Morden

May 31, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Dave Sawatzky was shocked when he received his phone bill this month, which tallied up to a whopping $5.2 million, all due to a quick afternoon trip to Morden. “I thought […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Disproves Evolution by Carbon Dating “Welcome to Morden Sign”

August 7, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB It’s another day and another fossil for the residents of Morden, Manitoba, which has area farmer Corny Harder “really upset once” and extra-determined to disprove the “evolution from Abes.” “Right away I drove […]

Unger the Influence

Morden to Probe Alleged Winkler Election Interference

March 7, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB New evidence suggests Winklerites were trying to influence the voting at the Miss Morden Corn and Apple Festival pageant last year. This finding greatly concerns Morden’s Corn and Apple committee who are going […]

Unger & Thirst

Experts Now Say Schmaunt Fat Leaked from Lab in Winkler

March 6, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Experts are now saying the explosion of delicious schmaunt fat over the last few years did not arrive naturally but likely originated from a top secret laboratory in Mrs. Froese’s summer kitchen. “Oba, […]

Unger Suspicion

Winkler Spy Balloon Shot Down Above Morden

February 4, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB A couple of slingshots and some good aim were all it took to down a massive spy balloon from Winkler that was hovering in the skies of neighbouring Morden for the past few […]

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