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Unger the Influence

Unger Suspicion

Maxime Bernier Attracts Just Barely Enough Supporters to Get Himself Arrested

June 11, 2021 Andrew

ST. PIERRE, MB People’s Party leader Maxime Bernier was just beginning his cross-Manitoba ‘Freedom’ tour, when he was arrested in St. Pierre for attracting a massive crowd of six enthusiastic supporters, plus the guy who […]

Unger Suspicion

Brian Pallister Sends Out Emergency Alert Warning Manitobans that He is Still Premier

May 23, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB On Friday afternoon, thousands of Manitobans were startled with an emergency alert on their phones warning them that Brian Pallister is still in charge of things around here. “Waut de schissjat is this […]

Unger Suspicion

Government Now Requiring Masks to Fully Cover Douchey Neck Tattoos

May 3, 2021 Andrew

THUNDER BAY, ON After nationwide protests saw a “disturbing” presence of neck tattoos, bleach-blonde hair, and mirrored sunglasses, the Government of Canada issued a new health advisory requiring “all douchey neck tattoos” to be fully […]

Unger Suspicion

Federal Government Borrows $400 Billion from Industrious Mennonite Farmer

April 25, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government just announced a record-setting deficit of nearly 400 billion dollars for the year 2020, which has people wondering just where they’re going to come up with the money. The answer, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Officials Worried About Potential Koop D’Etat

February 5, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After recent takeover attempts in Mynamar and Washington, government officials in Winkler are concerned about a potential Koop d’etat in their neck of the woods, too. “Those Koops. Always unsatisfied with the democractic […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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