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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Vice President Peters? Mennonites Shocked to Discover Joe Biden Using a Mennonite Pseudonym

August 21, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer is demanding to see the unredacted document that link then Vice President Joe Biden to various Mennonite pseudonyms, including Robert Peters, I.P. Fast, and Ona Bender. “We […]

Unger the Influence

Canadian Mennonites Blocked from Sharing Gossip on Facebook

August 16, 2023 Andrew

VINELAND, ON Facebook’s hardline stance against Canada’s controversial Bill C-18 has led to the blocking of Canadian news from a variety of sources including, but not limited to, Mrs. Ruth Kehler of Vineland, Ontario. “Did […]

Unger the Influence

CBC Publishes Fake News in Order to Skirt Facebook Block

August 10, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON CBC News has hired Mennonite satirist Andrew Unger to “churn out a bunch of fake satirical news stories” in order to get around Facebook’s blockage of Canadian news sites. “Make up whatever you […]

Unger the Influence

Protestors Excited that Trudeau is Finally Single

August 2, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON For a few years now, thousands of Justin Trudeau’s most passionate admirers have taken to the streets with signs that, albeit rather crass, nevertheless have expressed their undying love for the Prime Minister. […]

Unger the Influence

Canadian Prime Minister Declines Offer to Have Sex with Protestor

July 17, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A memo released by the PMO this week has finally provided a response to the hundreds of offers for intimate relations with the Prime Minister of Canada that have arisen over the past […]

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