“What is this – Calgary?” Winnipeg Man Can’t Figure Out Warm Holiday Temperatures


After temperatures soared into the single digits below zero, (Okay, Americans, I mean just below zero Celsius), North Kildonan resident Peter Wiens decided to strip to his undies and take a nice swim in the Red River.

“What is this – Calgary?” exclaimed Wiens, who had visited the Alberta city one winter on a ski trip and found the temperatures too balmy to take to the slopes. “It’s like we’re having a chinook or something.”

Wiens instantly posted the photo to a wide variety of social media feeds where he gloated to his Alberta relatives about the unseasonable Manitoba warmth.

“Ha, ha, suckers!” said Wiens. “Have fun with your with high rent and mediocre hockey teams!”

Wiens says all his relatives moved to Alberta in the 1980s just so they could experience a chinook every now and then. But Wiens claims he’s clearly the victor in the provincial rivalry.

“It’s minus six today,” said Wiens. “That means we’ve now got all the benefits of Calgary without having to shell out $600 grand for a beat up old bungalow in Whitehorn.”

Wiens failed to mention the poor state of Winnipeg roads or the fact you now need an armed body guard to enter a local liquor store.

“Hey, that’s no skin off my back,” said Wiens. “A good Mennonite isn’t buying booze anyway.”

Meanwhile, all of Wiens’ Abbotsford relatives were still completely unimpressed at Manitoba’s new supposedly moderate winters.

(photo credit: Ben Schumin/CC)

CBC Inserts Justin Trudeau into 'Home Alone 2'
Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2019