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winter

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires

May 4, 2026 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Mr. Todd Driedger of Aylmer is always the last one in all of Aylmer, Ontario to switch over to his summer tires. “I could tell Daisy was ready for a change,” said Driedger, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’

March 27, 2026 Andrew

PASTWA, MB A local snowman was shunned this week for setting a bad example for the young people of the congregation by dressing immodestly. “There he is out in the yard without any clothes on yet,” […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters

February 9, 2026 Andrew

MILAN, ITALY After a thorough investigation, researches have finally uncovered the reason why so many Olympic medals were found to be broken this weekend: Mrs. Esther Brandt of Rosenort. “She was going around and making […]

Unger the Influence

GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration

January 25, 2026 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Residents of the Greater Toronto Area are bracing themselves for what meteorologists are calling the “largest accumulation of snow since Rob Ford was around.” “Oh, geez, that’s a lot of snow,” said Mississauga […]

Unger Games

Mennonites Excited for Grand Slam of Curling in Steinbach

January 3, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Curling fans from across the world will be descending on the small Mennonite community of Steinbach this week to witness the curling elite in action. “Normally we just get to see Mrs. Loewen’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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