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winter

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Can’t Remember Where He Parked His Winter Coat

January 15, 2023 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Area man Art Loeppky, 75, spent more than 45 minutes in the GMC lobby this morning trying to find his parka in amongst hundreds of other black winter coats. “Jauma! Now where did […]

Unger Suspicion

Sunwing Passengers Stranded in La Crete, Alberta

January 6, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Rather than the sunny climes of Mexico, an entire plane of Sunwing Passengers somehow found themselves way up in northern Alberta this week. “I don’t know how the heck we got up […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Forecast Calls for -8 Today or -230 with Windchill

December 8, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB According to expert meteorologists, the City of Winnipeg is forecasted to hit a high of -8 today … or -230 if you factor in the windchill. “It’s going to be downright balmy! Single […]

Unger Games

Canadian Supreme Court Rules ‘Curling is a Real Sport’

October 4, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled today that “curling is actually a real sport, eh.” “Weighing all the evidence, it’s quite clear that curling is a sport,” said Judge […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Excommunicated for Living in Temperate Climate

June 2, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Pete Unger and the rest of his family has been sentenced to ten years shovelling the church parking lot after it was discovered they spent the entire winter in Phoenix, Arizona […]

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SATIRE BY ANDREW UNGER, AUTHOR OF THE DAILY BONNET

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