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vereniki

Unger & Thirst

Demolished Winkler Tower Cripples City’s Schmaunt Fat Supply

November 23, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Just weeks after Winkler’s most famous landmark was demolished, the area’s schmaunt fat supply has all but dried up and residents are concerned they may have to resort to eating fruits and vegetables […]

Unger & Thirst

“How do they get the cottage cheese in the vereniki?”: Mennonite Man Unlocks the Vereniki Secret

October 26, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Centuries of mystery have surrounded the Russian Mennonite delicacy known as the glums vereniki. Just how do they get the cottage cheese in there? It seems impossible. However, this week, local man Earl […]

Unger & Thirst

Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies

August 31, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s first Russian Mennonite Premier Kelvin Goertzen, MLA for Steinbach, was sworn in a stack of perogies this afternoon. “I learned this technique from Brad Wall,” said Goertzen. “You simply can’t go wrong […]

Unger & Thirst

A Glossary of Mennonite Food

April 9, 2021 Andrew

Ever wondered waut de hunt is komst borscht or plumi moos? Well, you can wonder no more, because the Daily Bonnet has created this handy dictionary of popular Russian Mennonite dishes. Now you can go […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Frees Up Some Freezer Space to Store Vaccines

March 24, 2021 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Grandma Dueck of Rosenort spent her entire weekend making space in her freezer for the new Pfizer vaccine, which she heard requires super low temperatures that only a Mennonite grandma’s freezer can support. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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