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Month: April 2021

Unger Conviction

“Freedom-Loving” Pastor Won’t Let Women Wear Pants

April 30, 2021 Andrew

DOMMHEIT, ON Canada’s most freedom-loving pastor, Apostle Hank, is all about liberty and personal freedoms without any coercion or undue influence from authority figures. “Our freedoms are being eroded daily!” exclaimed Apostle Hank to a […]

Unger Suspicion

Embarrassing New Photos Catch Casey and Finnegan at Nudist Colony

April 29, 2021 Andrew

PATRICIA BEACH, MB As temperatures soared this week, thousands of Canadians flocked to the beach for some summer fun. For famed CBC stars Casey and Finnegan it was their first time showing their true colours. […]

Unger & Thirst

Frustrated Mennonite Man Still Waiting for His Cookies

April 28, 2021 Andrew

TOFIELD, AB Nearly two weeks after he selected “accept all cookies” on one of his favourite websites, Darryl Krahn of Tofield is still waiting for the baked goods to arrive. “My Helen just tells me, […]

Unger Suspicion

This Toronto-Area Shed Just Sold for $600,000 Over Asking Price

April 27, 2021 Andrew

ETOBICOKE, ON A 64 square foot shed in Mr. Penner’s backyard has just sold for $600,000 over the asking price. “So that’s a total of $600, 500,” said an excited Mr. Penner, who had been […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Protestors Fight Amongst Themselves Over How to Split the Fine

April 26, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a delightful gathering at the Forks this Sunday, 1200 of Winnipeg’s most conscientious citizens found themselves in the quintessential Canadian dilemma: fighting over who was going to foot the bill. “Hey, everybody, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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