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vereniki

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Excited that Parliament is Perogied Until March

January 8, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Canada were excited to hear that Parliament is going to be “perogied” until March. The new “perogied” status means that Members of Parliament will basically do nothing but eat […]

Unger & Thirst

Did You Know … The Plural of Pierogi is Pierogi

August 22, 2024 Andrew

VITA, MB The National Committee for the Proliferation of Proper Food Spelling has issued a friendly reminder to folks on the Canadian prairies that the plural of pierogi is actually pierogi. “It’s not ‘pierogies,’” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Using ‘Hunky Bill’s Perogie Maker’

October 3, 2023 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Anna Harms, 51, of Grunthal has been caught “cheating” with Hunky Bill. The cheating was of great concern to her husband Darrel, who always assumed her perogies were hand made. “And then I […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

November 29, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used […]

Unger & Thirst

Rhubarb Sauce Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Perogies

April 22, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Art Wiens, 59, was shocked to discover a dollop of what appeared to be rhubarb sauce on his vereniki this week. “Diewel, Dietschlaund, Schinda! I’m not sure where this rhubarb sauce […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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