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Unger Suspicion

Elon Musk Offers Free Cybertruck to Any Left-wingers Willing to Stay on Twitter

April 18, 2022 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Left-of-centre Twitter users have threatened to leave the platform en masse if the Elon Musk takeover goes through. In an effort to placate the angry crowd, Musk has offered users a free […]

Unger Suspicion

Breaking News: No One Cares About Your Wordle

March 5, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Mrs. Yoder, who has been faithfully posting her Wordle scores every day on Facebook, was shocked to discover today that literally no one cared. “I’ve committed so much of my life to Wordle […]

Unger Suspicion

Mark Zuckerberg Breaks Down, Admits He Has No Real Friends

January 27, 2022 Andrew

PALO ALTO, CA Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg has publicly acknowledged for the first time that he has not a single real friend. The news came as a shock to his millions of Facebook […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Politician Tweets Photo of Wife Mucking the Stalls After 12-Hour Nursing Shift

January 11, 2022 Andrew

NEUSCHANZENHOF, MB Not wanting anyone to outdo the Mennos when it comes to ill-advised Tweets, Manitoba politician Ernie Janzen, 61, quickly snapped a photo of his wife Doris mucking the stalls just after she came […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Reads Full Daily Bonnet Article After Years of Just Reading the Headlines

November 4, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Peter Bartsch of Leamington, who has spent the last five years reading The Daily Bonnet with his morning pripps, accidentally clicked on a post today and was shocked to discover there was an […]

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