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The Daily Bonnet

Area Woman Accidentally Posts Something Positive and Uplifting on Social Media

May 19, 2025 Andrew

TABER, AB After months of non-stop angry political posts, Mrs. Goertzen of Taber accidentally shared an inspirational scripture verse on Facebook this morning. “Oba, how did Philippians 4:6-7 get in there!” yelled Mrs. Goertzen. “I […]

Unger the Influence

Area Man Can’t Figure Out Whether All the People Who Voted Differently than Him are Evil or Stupid

April 29, 2025 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC One area man is on a mission this afternoon to figure out whether people who saw things differently than him in the recent election are either utterly stupid or unredeemably evil. “About 58% […]

Unger the Influence

Area Man Single-handedly Turns Tide of Election By Posting Meme

April 28, 2025 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Area man Richard Epp, 71, has single-handedly turned the tide of the entire federal election after posting a political meme that got three likes this afternoon. “Well, three likes and an angry face,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Rather than Read Group Rules, Area Woman to Write “Please delete if not allowed” Before Every Post

January 27, 2025 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, SK Area woman Diane Klippenstein has a longstanding tradition of writing “please delete if not allowed” before every single social media post. “Whether I’m selling my canned beets or inquiring what time the Co-op […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Leads Mass Exodus from Twitter

November 25, 2024 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Area man Moses Schwartzentruber has led a large group of Mennonites off of Twitter in search of bluer skies. The exodus began after pleading with Pharoah Elon to stop being such an ass […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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