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Unger the Influence

Area Man Can’t Figure Out Whether All the People Who Voted Differently than Him are Evil or Stupid

April 29, 2025 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC One area man is on a mission this afternoon to figure out whether people who saw things differently than him in the recent election are either utterly stupid or unredeemably evil. “About 58% […]

Unger the Influence

Area Man Single-handedly Turns Tide of Election By Posting Meme

April 28, 2025 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Area man Richard Epp, 71, has single-handedly turned the tide of the entire federal election after posting a political meme that got three likes this afternoon. “Well, three likes and an angry face,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Rather than Read Group Rules, Area Woman to Write “Please delete if not allowed” Before Every Post

January 27, 2025 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, SK Area woman Diane Klippenstein has a longstanding tradition of writing “please delete if not allowed” before every single social media post. “Whether I’m selling my canned beets or inquiring what time the Co-op […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Leads Mass Exodus from Twitter

November 25, 2024 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Area man Moses Schwartzentruber has led a large group of Mennonites off of Twitter in search of bluer skies. The exodus began after pleading with Pharoah Elon to stop being such an ass […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Who Lived Near a Mennonite Town for a Couple Years in the 80s Now Internet’s Top Expert on Mennonites

August 29, 2024 Andrew

LONDON, ON Area man Steve from London, Ontario has taken it upon himself to spout off his knowledge about Mennonites every chance he gets. “Any post about Mennonites and I’m there commenting,” said Steve. “After […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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