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Unger Suspicion

‘X’ Rebranded as ‘PG-13’ for Sensitive Mennonites

July 30, 2023 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Realizing he had unintentionally alienated a sizeable chunk of potential users, X CEO Elon Musk has launched a new PG-13 App especially for Mennonites. “Rest assured, there’s not a single exposed ankle or […]

Unger Suspicion

Twitter Unveils New Logo

July 24, 2023 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA There have been a lot changes over at Twitter since Elon Musk took over including, but not limited to, a brand new logo that looks eerily familiar to neighbouring Mennonites over in […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Bans TikTok From All Devices … But Only the Dancing Videos

March 3, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB The Southern La Crete MEMMCBM church has decided the risk of youth watching dance videos is too great and thus TikTok must be banned. “But we’re not killjoys or something. The dancing […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Deteles 6-Motnh Old Tweet After Discovreing Typo

February 27, 2023 Andrew

STIENBACH, MB Area man Pete Sawatkzy was shockead and dismayed to find a tpyo in a Tweet he psosted more than 6 months ago. “Oba, nay! This error-laden tWeet has been sitting for the months […]

Unger Suspicion

Outage Impacts All 8 Mennonites on Twitter

February 9, 2023 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON All 8 Mennonites who use Twitter – Dan Reimer, Susan Friesen, Mary Froese, Pete Sawatzky, Abe Schmidt, Karen Wiebe, Anne Yoder, and Fran Miller – were greatly impacted by the outage this week. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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