Mennonite Man Reads Full Daily Bonnet Article After Years of Just Reading the Headlines


Peter Bartsch of Leamington, who has spent the last five years reading The Daily Bonnet with his morning pripps, accidentally clicked on a post today and was shocked to discover there was an entire article behind the headline.

Waut de schissjat is this yet? Just look at what I’ve been missing out on all these years,” said Bartsch. “Look at all these fake quotes from Reimers and Pletts and Goossens. Oba jo!”

For Bartsch, however, most of the shock came from discovering that he, himself, was identified specifically by name in a Daily Bonnet article.

Oba! I wonder how many other times I’ve been mentioned,” said Bartsch. “I guess it does pay to read the articles, even the ones that aren’t that funny…”

Bartsch says it’s not just The Daily Bonnet, and he actually gets all his news from just reading the headlines.

“I can usually get the gist of it pretty quick,” said Bartsch, “and what I don’t understand, well, the Peters brothers fill me in on the rest of the details at Tims every morning.”

Bartsch says he also prefers to just hum along to hymns without looking at the lyrics and order randomly at Swiss Chalet by pointing to a neighbouring table and saying, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

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