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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Expands Their Palate at Mall Food Court

July 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local couple Arthur and Samantha Hiebert of North Kildonan are excited about the new culinary discoveries they’ve made at the Kildonan Place Shopping Centre food court. “I’ve never seen such a world of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Refuses to Pay for Superstore Bags

June 29, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman Doris Goosen had her arms full yet again on Thursday evening after she refused to pay the 5 cents for the Superstore plastic bags. “I don’t care if it take me […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Couple Not Nearly as Rich as Huge Wad of Canadian Tire Money Suggests

May 27, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Over the years, local couple Bert and Paula Siemens have accumulated a large stash of Canadian Tire money. However, when the couple went to their local Canadian Tire store to spend it, they quickly […]

Uncategorized

Nordstrom Sells $600 ‘Authentic Mennonite-Worn’ Dirty Jeans

April 27, 2017 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Mennonite hog farmers across North America are ecstatic at the new opportunity to sell their old dirty sweaty jeans at a huge profit to Nordstrom. “I don’t know why those English want our […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grand Forks, North Dakota ‘Completely Overrun’ With Mennonites

March 29, 2017 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND Due to Spring Break in Manitoba, the indoor waterslides at every single hotel in nearby Grand Forks were totally swamped with Mennonites this week. “They’re welcome to explore our city,” said Grand […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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