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The Daily Bonnet

Grand Forks, North Dakota ‘Completely Overrun’ With Mennonites

March 29, 2017 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND Due to Spring Break in Manitoba, the indoor waterslides at every single hotel in nearby Grand Forks were totally swamped with Mennonites this week. “They’re welcome to explore our city,” said Grand […]

The Daily Bonnet

Adventurous Mennonite Couple Discovers a Whole World Beyond St. Vital Centre

February 26, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. and Mrs. Jakob and Helena Funk of Lowe Farm were recently shocked to discover that there was more to the provincial capital than a suburban mall. “For decades we’ve just been driving between […]

The Daily Bonnet

Superstore Lot Fills Up With Liquor Mart Customers

February 19, 2017 Andrew

EAST VILLAGE, MB Every evening the local Superstore parking lot fills up with dozens of vehicles belonging to people who don’t want their cars seen in the Liquor Mart parking lot. “I park at Superstore, run a few […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach MCC Store Takes a Hardline Stance Against Doll Nudity

January 19, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After an epidemic of improperly covered dolls, the Steinbach MCC has recently addressed the issue with a no-nonsense sign meant to curb the unseemly behaviour. “I couldn’t even walk down the doll aisle […]

The Daily Bonnet

Altona Man Begins Christmas Shopping Early This Year

December 23, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mr. Peter Sawatzky of the Altona area got a head start on his Christmas shopping this year as he rushed to the Altona 10,000 Villages store today to buy some fair trade coffee […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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