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Unger Suspicion

Single Snowflake Causes Vancouver Schools to Shut Down for ‘Snow Day’

March 5, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The discovery of a single solitary snowflake in the Vancouver suburb of Burnaby this Monday, forced schools across the region to shut down. The sighting was reported early Monday morning and immediately caused […]

Quizzes

Only 1 in 100 Mennonites Can Solve This Math Problem. Can You?

September 14, 2017 Andrew

Oba, when I was still in my training overalls Taunte Helen tried to teach me the maths, but I yust couldn’t figure it out yet. Even when the smartest boy in school, Obrom ‘Fuela‘ Kornelson, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Your 2019-2020 Mennonite School Supply List

September 2, 2017 Andrew

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Unger, Welcome to Friedensruh School. Prädja Enns and I are very happy to have your children Abe, Mary, Anne, Henry, Knels, Lina, Elizabeth, Ruth, Art, Sarah, Nettie, Johan, Martha, Benjamin, and […]

Unger & Thirst

Retiring Teacher Quickly Consumes 30 Years Worth of Apples

June 29, 2017 Andrew

GRETNA, MB With just two days remaining in his illustrious teaching career, retiring teacher Willy Epp of Klaas Reimer Memorial School, decided it was high time he ate all the apples he’d been given over the past thirty years. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Siblings Gather for 20 Year Home School Reunion

May 20, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The Friesen siblings of Altona gathered this past week at Mom and Dad’s bungalow to celebrate their 20-year home school reunion. “We’re the graduating class of 1997,” said Dave, who works at the local […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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