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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Awarded Ph.D. in Basket Weaving

March 30, 2019 Andrew

SHARTFIELD, SK While Shartfield Mennonite Bible School has been offering diplomas in basket weaving for decades, Mr. Peter Wiebe has become the first ever to make it all the way to Ph.D. status. “Oba, my […]

Unger Conviction

Wealthy Mennonites Bribe Their Way Into All the Best Sunday Schools

March 15, 2019 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN The Yoder family of Goshen is just one of dozens of Mennonite families who found themselves in the midst of the largest Sunday school admissions scandal in Mennonite church history. From 2015-2018, the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Seminary Student Can’t Figure Out All This German

February 9, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Future Mennonite pastor Dave Unger, a student at the Winkler Anabaptist Seminary, is having real trouble in his New Testament class, especially after students were required to read the text in its original […]

Unger Suspicion

School’s Out! Back-to-School Shopping Begins!

June 30, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Just seconds after Calgary students were released for summer vacation, advertisers began pestering their parents to begin their back-to-school shopping. “Pencils, binders, backpacks, and all the latest fashions. We’ve got it all,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plastic Straw Ban Leaves Pacifist Mennonites Completely Defenceless

June 21, 2018 Andrew

BERNE, IN In recent weeks, cities across the country have banned plastic straws because of their environmental impact. While many are supportive of the idea, there has been some resistance, particularly from the nation’s 500,000 […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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