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Month: May 2016

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Residents to Vote on Whether to Acknowledge Each Other in the Liquor Store

May 31, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For decades, the Mennonite town of Steinbach, Manitoba was officially dry. No liquor could be bought or sold anywhere in the region. Since then, a number of referendums have taken place that have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Area Woman Buys Out Entire MCC Store for $200

May 30, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local waitress and shopaholic Esther Kornelson, 41, of the Steinbach area, sent the MCC Thrift Store into a temporary panic on Saturday, as she bought out the entire store with last month’s tip […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Starts ‘Citizens Concerned About Absolutely Everything’ Facebook Page

May 29, 2016 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Concerned citizen Kurt Warkentin, 41, of the Mitchell area has started a Facebook group to express his concern about absolutely everything that goes on in the world. “Bill 18, taxes, the new multiplex, refugees […]

Unger & Thirst

Descendants of Penner Foods Employees to Gather in Steinbach

May 28, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB According to local historian Johan R. Vogt, the romantic relationships established at Penner Foods during the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s have resulted in over 100,000 children. Penner’s Children, as they call themselves, […]

Unger Conviction

Steinbach Residents Flock to Mini-churches Across the City

May 27, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s called the Tiny Church Movement, and it’s taking the nation by storm. In Steinbach, Manitoba, area residents are abandoning the large megachurches in favour of something a little more intimate. “We’re getting […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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