BLUMENHOF, SK Area child Dietrich Bergmann was suspended for eight days for uttering the phrase “Waut de schissjat” during a rousing circle game at recess this afternoon. “We have to teach these youngsters a lesson,” […]
OTTAWA, ON The Mark Carney government has plans to ban social media for all children under the age of 16. “But don’t you worry, kids,” said Carney. “We’ve got plenty to keep you entertained. Starting […]
MIAMI, FL After rolling out a test run at primary schools in Miami, Florida this week, the White House announced plans to provide every school in the country with a dairy cow and a Mennonite […]
EDMONTON, AB In an effort to “balance religious freedoms with the need to protect our children,” the Alberta Ministry of Edumacation has decided to churn out snazzy new Bibles that exclude anything that might be […]
DOLPHIN, MB After months of controversy and debate, Dolphin School Trustee Pete Caflib has finally convinced his local school division to bring back the Royal Anthem. “Yeah, so I picked up a bunch of 45s […]
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