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menno simons

Unger Suspicion

Church Elders Launch Powerful ‘James Wiebe Telescope’ to Keep An Eye on Misbehaving Mennonites

July 28, 2022 Andrew

SPACE The recently launched James Wiebe Telescope has stunned the world with images of Mennonites even more remarkable than those found in the work of renowned photographer Larry Towell. “We’re finally able to see the […]

Unger Conviction

Disney Releases New Song: ‘We Don’t Talk About Menno’

April 12, 2022 Andrew

ANAHEIM, CA Disney has just released a brand new children’s song called ‘We Don’t Talk About Menno’ intended to appeal to Mennonite churches who’ve abandoned their traditional Anabaptist theology. “We know there’s a huge market […]

Unger Suspicion

Is Justin Trudeau the Son of Menno Simons?

February 11, 2022 Andrew

WITMARSUM, NETHERLANDS New photographic evidence suggests Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau just might be the son of early Anabaptist leader Menno Simons. “The eyebrows, the nose, the wavy hair, even the distance between his eyes […]

The Daily Bonnet

Spectacular Northern Mennonites Light Up the Night Sky

October 14, 2021 Andrew

SELKIRK, MB Thousands of people across North America set up their cameras last night to witness a specular show by the Northern Mennonites. “We had Menno Simons. Dirk Willems. Even Miriam Toews made an appearance,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man is Literally ‘Older than Sliced Bread’

March 11, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Sliced bread was introduced to the market in 1928. This makes Mr. Peter Wiebe, 93, of Winkler literally “older than sliced bread.” “Oba, I’m older than sliced bread and my wife Annie is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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