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Unger Suspicion

Americans Accuse Canada of “Premature Thankfulness”

October 9, 2022 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Millions of Americans have signed a petition to stop Canada from celebrating Thanksgiving early. “This premature thankfulness has got to stop,” said Mr. Frey of Elkhart, Indiana. “I’ve got some cousins up there […]

Unger Suspicion

“It’s all starting to taste like Mennonite food!” Says Joe Biden After Losing Sense of Taste and Smell

July 24, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC White House physicians are getting really concerned after President Joe Biden has started to complain that all the rich and spicy food he was eating was starting to taste “as bland as Mennonite […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man to Increase Gas Production

March 24, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Fraser Valley gas producer Marty Klassen, 48, is responding to the worldwide oil and gas shortage by ramping up production of his own. “If OPEC isn’t going to do it, then I guess […]

The Daily Bonnet

Whole Foods Bans MCC Peace Buttons

November 8, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON In order to be consistent with their recent poppy ban, Whole Foods Canada has also banned anyone from coming into the store wearing one of those MCC Peace Buttons. “Please wear a mask, […]

Quizzes

What do you love most about Manitoba?

May 12, 2020 Andrew

Okay, enough schputting for a moment. It’s Manitoba Day. Happy 150 years, Manitoba! So, whether you’re a resident of the province or have moved away and miss it, what is the thing you love most […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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