Mennonite Man to Increase Gas Production


Fraser Valley gas producer Marty Klassen, 48, is responding to the worldwide oil and gas shortage by ramping up production of his own.

“If OPEC isn’t going to do it, then I guess I’ll step in,” said Klassen. “All it takes is a few bowls of Martha’s chili and I should have enough gas to power the whole west side of Chilliwack.”

President Joe Biden is grateful for Klassen’s gas supply.

“With the sanctions against Russia, I was really getting desperate,” said Biden. “I’d rather trade gas with Mr. Klassen than some communist dictator.”

The government of Canada is also in talks to build a pipeline straight from the Chesterfield in Klassen’s living room all the way to the east coast.

Winnipeg Transit Now Offering Ark Service
Manitoba Government Rebrands Spring Break as 'Winter Break Part 2'