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Month: January 2017

Unger Suspicion

Churchill Polar Bears to Be Relocated to Southern Manitoba

January 31, 2017 Andrew

CHURCHILL, MB Along the Hudson Bay in the far northeast corner of Manitoba lies the small town of Churchill, renowned across the globe for its natural beauty and abundance of polar bears. However, the Wildlife […]

The Daily Bonnet

All Abe Friesens Required By Law to Use Middle Initial

January 30, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Abe Friesen the mechanic (no, not Abe Friesen the Associate Pastor at the Main Street Brethren, or Abe Friesen the truck driver from Lowe Farm) is sick and tired of being confused for […]

Unger Conviction

Manitoba Pastor to Run His Church from Sunny Costa Rica

January 29, 2017 Andrew

SANTA TERESA, COSTA RICA Rev. Benjamin Penner, who was recently appointed pastor of the largest Mennonite church in Manitoba, says he plans to spend much of his time at his Costa Rican vacation home. “I’ll come back […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Successfully Traces His Ancestors Back to Adam

January 28, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local man Elmer P. Dueck, 84, has spent the last forty years of his life meticulously researching his family tree, and has recently become the first Mennonite ever to trace his ancestry all […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates Crokinole-Curling-Ice Fishing Hybrid

January 28, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Days after the world debut of a crokinole-curling hybrid called ‘Crokicurl’ (yes, this is a real thing), Winkler man Pete Sawatzky decided he could do one better by adding ice fishing to the mix. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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