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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Child Found Four Days Later Still Searching for Easter Egg

April 20, 2017 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Four days after the annual Giesbrecht family easter egg hunt a distraught Timothy Giesbrecht, 6, was located in Oma and Opa’s backyard frantically searching for the colourful hard-boiled treat. “This is the last time we […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbachers Mourn the Loss of Taco Bell

April 19, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For almost 20 years Steinbachers have flocked to Taco Bell for a taste of home in Chihuahua. It seems, however, that the new KFC restaurant will not be serving these delicious Mexican treats. […]

Unger Suspicion

Quebec Separatists Demand to Take Ste. Anne, Manitoba With Them

April 18, 2017 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC A sovereigntist group in Quebec, the Front de Liberation de Quebec and Other Parts of Canada, or FLQOPC for short, is demanding that in the event of Quebec’s separation from Canada, that tiny […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Arrested at Border for Possession of Poppyseed Cake

April 12, 2017 Andrew

EMERSON, MB Local woman, Mrs. Schultz, 81, of the Altona area was arrested on charges of narcotic smuggling after she left a Tupperware container of her famous poppyseed cake in the back seat of her […]

Unger & Thirst

Check Out These Wacky Mennonite Dishes Inspired by the Daily Bonnet

April 10, 2017 Andrew

Back in February, the Daily Bonnet posted an article entitled ‘Ten Epic Mennonite Dishes We Wish Were Real‘. We never imagined that these dishes could or would actually be created. Well, a few creative Daily Bonnet […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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