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food

The Daily Bonnet

Chaos Erupts After Pooper Scooper is Confused for BBQ Tongs

May 22, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Chaos erupted at the Loewen family BBQ at Prince’s Island Park this weekend when the bbq tongs were mixed up with the dog’s pooper scooper. “I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow the […]

Unger & Thirst

Which Mennonite Grandma is the Best Cook?

May 16, 2017 Andrew

Let’s face it, absolutely everybody claims that their own grandma is the best cook in the world. To settle this debate once and for all, The Daily Bonnet has travelled across Canadian Mennonite country sampling […]

The Daily Bonnet

Bottomless Pepsi Promotion Bankrupts Local Restaurant

May 1, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB One of Steinbach’s great and storied restaurants Joe’s Diner was once an instituton on Main Street, serving three generations of customers with its signature hamburgers and soda pop. It was always believed that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Introduces New ‘Extra Sour’ Funeral Pickles

April 30, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area woman Susanna Koop has recently hauled out a batch of ‘extra sour’ pickles from her cellar that she feels will go over well at local funerals this spring. “Springtime funeral-goers in Mennonite […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family Feeds Hungry Puppies at Local Buffet

April 29, 2017 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON A Sunday smorgasbord at a local diner turned into a feeding frenzy, with area Mennonite families sneaking their beloved pets into the buffet line. By just 12:30 the roast beef was completely gone because […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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