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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Walks Around in ‘Thongs’ All Summer

June 27, 2019 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Mr. Wiens, 58, of Vankla has been spending a lot of time at Grand Beach this year wearing little more than a thong. “Going to the beach, honey,” said Mr. Wiens. “Anyone […]

Unger Conviction

Congregation Shocked as Guitarist Snaps a G String

June 25, 2019 Andrew

SALEM, OR Parishioners at the South Salem Mennonite Church were in shock this last week after song leader and guitarist Miss Horsch lost her G string right in the middle of “10,000 Reasons.” “I’ve never […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Sells New ‘What Would Jansen Do’ Bracelets

April 21, 2019 Andrew

BEATRICE, NE In honour of long-term elder Mr. Jansen, the ECCM Mennonite Church of Beatrice has introduced a new product for sale in the church book store: a limited-edition ‘What Would Jansen Do?’ bracelet. “You […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Beaches to Open This Weekend After Temperatures Soar to -15!

February 13, 2019 Andrew

LAKE WINNIPEG, MB Manitobans have been sporting swimwear this entire week after temperatures reached daytime highs of -15 degrees celsius. The temperatures are so unseasonably warm that beaches will be opening early this year. “It’ll […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buried Under Huge Pile of Coats on Master Bed

January 3, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mr. Klassen had plopped himself down for a nice meddachschlop this Sunday afternoon, when a steady stream of unexpected guests piled into the Klassen residence. While Mrs. Klassen politely invited the Fehrs, Wiebes, […]

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