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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Sells New ‘What Would Jansen Do’ Bracelets

April 21, 2019 Andrew

BEATRICE, NE In honour of long-term elder Mr. Jansen, the ECCM Mennonite Church of Beatrice has introduced a new product for sale in the church book store: a limited-edition ‘What Would Jansen Do?’ bracelet. “You […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Beaches to Open This Weekend After Temperatures Soar to -15!

February 13, 2019 Andrew

LAKE WINNIPEG, MB Manitobans have been sporting swimwear this entire week after temperatures reached daytime highs of -15 degrees celsius. The temperatures are so unseasonably warm that beaches will be opening early this year. “It’ll […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buried Under Huge Pile of Coats on Master Bed

January 3, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mr. Klassen had plopped himself down for a nice meddachschlop this Sunday afternoon, when a steady stream of unexpected guests piled into the Klassen residence. While Mrs. Klassen politely invited the Fehrs, Wiebes, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Forced to Wear Their Parkas Indoors So Dad Can Save on the Hydro Bill

December 5, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Doerksen family of Winkler have been wearing their long underwear a lot this winter, thanks to Mr. Doerksen’s insistence that “no one better touch that darn thermostat!” “They keep raising the hydro […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Approves ‘Scandalous’ New Hemline

November 15, 2018 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK More than thirty parishioners fainted at the Harder-Dyck wedding in Swift Current this past Sunday after the bride sported a wedding dress with an ‘outrageous’ hemline just above the ankles. “The elders […]

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