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clothing

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Woman Denied Entry to Folk Festival for Failing to Wear Blundstones

July 13, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman Samantha Kroeker, 38, was really looking forward to seeing Mavis Staples at Folk Fest this evening, but had to go back to Altona with her tail between her legs after she […]

Unger the Influence

TSA Will No Longer Require Mennonites to Remove Socks and Sandals

July 10, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC It’s the boldest change to airport security requirements in more than twenty years–starting this weekend, Mennonites will no longer be required to remove their socks and sandals when passing through airport security. “That […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor to Fight Epidemic of Mennonite Men Wearing Shorts in Church

June 1, 2025 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK After half the men in the congregation showed up in shorts this past Sunday, Pastor Carl is now enforcing the church’s long standing no shorts rule. “It’s been on the books for decades, […]

Unger Conviction

Magnus Carlsen Booted Out of Church for Wearing Jeans

December 30, 2024 Andrew

WATERTOWN, NY Norwegian chess superstar Magnus Carlsen had decided to try his hand at a Dutch Blitz tournament up in Watertown, New York this week, when he realized his attire was not suitable for the […]

The Daily Bonnet

“They’re a slippery slope to pants”: Mennonite Church Bans Leggings

October 6, 2024 Andrew

COALDALE, AB Lululemon stores in Calgary are under serious financial pressure this week, after the recent crack down on southern Alberta women wearing leggings under their skirts. “That’s where it all starts,” yelled Pastor Dave […]

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