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Month: June 2019

Unger Conviction

Pastor Lets Church Out Early So People Can Get to Chicken Chef

June 30, 2019 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Tired of always having to wait until for their rival EMMMCers to finish their meals, Pastor Dan at Morden MCMB decided to let church out early this week so that they could get […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Calls Her Coffee Break a ‘Menno Pause’

June 29, 2019 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Laurie Kehler, 31, of Saskatoon is enjoying her new job, especially since its right next to a Starbucks that she can easily access during her morning Menno Pause. “I get a twenty minute […]

Unger & Thirst

Craft Beer Snob Ruins Church Men’s Fishing Weekend By Bringing Nothing But Really Bitter IPAs

June 28, 2019 Andrew

LAKE OF THE WOODS, MN After the disaster this past weekend, the church men of Mountain Lake, Minnesota will no longer invite 25-year-old college student and pastor’s son Dylan on their fishing trips. The group […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Walks Around in ‘Thongs’ All Summer

June 27, 2019 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Mr. Wiens, 58, of Vankla has been spending a lot of time at Grand Beach this year wearing little more than a thong. “Going to the beach, honey,” said Mr. Wiens. “Anyone […]

Unger Suspicion

Mrs. Reimer to Star in New Remake: “The Bible School Graduate”

June 26, 2019 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Indeed! A lot has changed in the past fifty years since the release of the 1967 classic The Graduate. Five decades later the film is being given a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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