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baking

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Dealing Dime Bags of White Sugar

December 10, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona’s most notorious sugar dealer, 83-year-old Edith Braun, has been caught dealing “dime bags” of white sugar in the hallways of Southview Manor. “The street price of white sugar has soared this holiday […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Smuggles Baking Powder into White House, Plans to Make Zwieback

July 6, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Mrs. Janzen of Goessel, Kansas has been arrested in the nation’s capital this week after smuggling a Ziploc bag full of what she says is baking powder into the White House. “I thought […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Takes 14 Hours to Bake Cookies that will be Gone in 2 Minutes

December 6, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mrs. Erin Koop of Steinbach got up at 5 am this past Saturday to bake a batch of sugar cookies that were gone just seconds after she lay them out to cool. “Diewel! […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Has So Much Rhubarb She Doesn’t Know What To Do With It All

September 15, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB For the first time in her 83-year-existence, Mrs. Wiens of Winkler has more rhubarb than she knows what to do with yet once. “Oba, waut de kuckuck will I do with all this […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Carries on Longstanding Mennonite Tradition of Licking the Beaters

January 1, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Darryl Klassen, 43, of Swift Current is undergoing surgery this weekend to untangle his tongue from his mother’s hand mixer. “It’s been a tradition ever since I was five years old,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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