Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store


Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used to.

“I couldn’t make up my mind,” said Loewen. “I was there in the Sobeys aisle for three full hours trying to figure it out. On the one hand, my Earl prefers cottage cheese, but on the other hand, the grandkids prefer potato and cheddar. How can I please everyone?”

For a good 45 minutes Loewen had a couple bags of cottage cheese in her cart while she did her other shopping, but the presence of those particular perogies weighed heavily on her conscience.

“I gave the potato and cheddar a few laps down the aisle to see how I felt about it,” said Loewen. “But, in the end, I still was left not knowing what to do.”

Loewen was still deeply pondering these matters at 10 pm when they turned the lights out at the grocery store.

“We see this all the time,” said store employee Mrs. Enns. “I work full-time at Sobeys and teach philosophy on the side, so I know how hard these decisions can be. The best I can do is to put my arms around them and listen … just listen.”

Enns notes that, in most cases, this particular crisis could be averted by just buying a bag of each.

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