The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

existentialism

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

November 29, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used […]

Unger Games

Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two

March 27, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Canadian sports fans were left in absolute ecstasy this afternoon after the Canadian Men’s Soccer Team qualified for the World Cup for the first time in 36 years, thus ballooning the number of […]

Unger Conviction

Man with Snowblower Finds Renewed Sense of Purpose and Meaning

February 26, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man Abe Broesky, 53, recently experienced a renewed sense of spiritual purpose in his life all due to the fact he happens to own a snowblower. “Sometimes I think to myself, ‘Abe, […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Free Dance Lessons’ Creates Profound Existential Crisis in Mennonite Town

October 5, 2016 Andrew

SOMMERFELD, PARAGUAY Residents of a small Mennonite town were sent into deep existential angst on Wednesday when a sign went up in town offering ‘Free Dance Lessons.’ “As a Mennonite I’m obligated to take anything […]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Farmer Hires Pierre Poilievre to Count His Chickens Before they’re Hatched
    April 2, 2025
  • Canadian Mennonite Travels All the Way to Belize Just for the Ice Cream
    November 7, 2022
  • Schmaunt Fat Prices Soar to Record Highs
    June 20, 2017
  • Canadian Swifties Demand Taylor Date at Least One CFL Star
    September 25, 2023
  • Ever Notice How the MCC Logo Looks Exactly Like the State of Texas?
    January 22, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved