Mennonite Pastor Barely Outlasts UK Prime Minister Liz Truss


The United Kingdom has adopted the tried and true “Mennonite leadership model” of tossing out a leader after just a few weeks in charge.

“We’ve been looking at systems across the globe and what we found was that picking leaders from a hat and then kicking them out every few weeks was the best way to go about it,” said UK Parliamentary expert Reginald Cornieson. “We’ve also decided to pay a salary of five frozen chickens and bucket of oats.”

The news came as a relief for Pastor David of Fernheim Colony, Paraguay.

“I was hoping I’d at least outlast Liz Truss,” said Pastor David, who will be preaching his 8th consecutive sermon this Sunday. “Looks like I’ve made it … barely.”

While Liz Truss became the shortest serving UK Prime Minister at just six weeks, Pastor David, on the other hand, is about to become the longest serving Mennonite pastor in history.

“I’m going on two months now without being fired,” said Pastor David. “As long at the elders don’t find out about the pool table in my basement I should be fine.”

Within minutes of the publication of this article, Pastor David was fired and immediately sent on the next boat to Bolivia.

Winnipeg Man Buys Fancy New Car to Drive on World's Shittiest Roads
Generous Rider Fans Donate Unwanted Grey Cup Tickets to Local Thrift Store