Even Borscht is No Longer ‘Cheap as Borscht’ After Surge in Cabbage Prices

YARROW, BC

A cabbage spill on the highway in British Columbia this week has resulted in a cabbage shortage and a corresponding surge in prices. This has sent Mennonites across the globe searching for a suitably cheap soup-filler.

“Oba, nay. Even borscht is not as cheap as borscht these days,” said Mrs. Reimer of Yarrow. “Not to mention the soaring price of bay leaves.”

For centuries, cabbage borscht has been a staple of Mennonite cuisine, mostly because it was so darn cheap…but not anymore.

“Jauma lied! What else am I going to use to give my soup some texture,” pondered Mrs. Reimer. “Lord knows my Abe won’t eat kale.”

Many Mennonites have found a solution to the problem of increasing cabbage prices, however.

“If you can’t pad out the soup with cabbage, you might as well just throw in another ring of farmer sausage,” said Mrs. Reimer. “Might even convince the grandkids to try a bowl.”

Borscht peaked at more than $0.35 a bowl on the TSE this week.

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