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Unger Suspicion

Stash of Spare Prince Harry Books Donated to Local Thrift Store

January 14, 2023 Andrew

FERSCHT HEINRICH, SK A huge of stash of spare Prince Harry books were dropped off at the local thrift store this afternoon. “Yeah, what can I say. I guess the bookstore had a few extras,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Pastor Barely Outlasts UK Prime Minister Liz Truss

October 22, 2022 Andrew

LONDON, UK The United Kingdom has adopted the tried and true “Mennonite leadership model” of tossing out a leader after just a few weeks in charge. “We’ve been looking at systems across the globe and […]

Unger Suspicion

British Tabloids Compare King Charles’s Fingers to Mennonite Farmer Sausage

September 18, 2022 Andrew

LONDON, UK It’s the biggest scandal so far of his reign. Yes, indeed. New photographic evidence suggests King Charles III’s fingers bear an uncanny resemblance to Mennonite farmer sausage. “I’m not sure why we didn’t […]

Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Canadian Politicians to “Mourn the Queen” at the Lake this Monday While Everyone Else Works

September 14, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Politicians across Canada are so heartbroken over the death of Her Majesty that they’ve decided that what they really need is a nice long weekend while everyone else is working. “Ahh, it sure […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Couple Excited for New ‘Downtown Abby’ Movie

September 28, 2019 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Fast family of Abbotsford was super pumped about the new movie set in their very own community and were first in line to see Downtown Abby this weekend. “I’ve never seen downtown Abbotsford look […]

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