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Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Pastor Barely Outlasts UK Prime Minister Liz Truss

October 22, 2022 Andrew

LONDON, UK The United Kingdom has adopted the tried and true “Mennonite leadership model” of tossing out a leader after just a few weeks in charge. “We’ve been looking at systems across the globe and […]

Unger Games

All 3 Remaining Commonwealth Countries Guaranteed Medals in Every Sport

August 3, 2022 Andrew

BIRMINGHAM, UK All 3 or whatever remaining Commonwealth countries will be guaranteed a medal in every event this summer as they compete to see who’s the best at sports amongst these several nations. “More than […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple to Replace Harry and Meghan at Buckingham Palace

January 13, 2020 Andrew

LONDON, UK After Harry and Meghan decided to call it quits on the royal family, a generous family of Mennonites from Holmes County have agreed to take their place at Buckingham Palace. “As Anabaptists, we’re […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Couple Excited for New ‘Downtown Abby’ Movie

September 28, 2019 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Fast family of Abbotsford was super pumped about the new movie set in their very own community and were first in line to see Downtown Abby this weekend. “I’ve never seen downtown Abbotsford look […]

Unger Suspicion

New Biopic Reveals Freddie Mercury’s ‘Secret Wild Mennonite Life’

February 16, 2019 Andrew

LONDON, UK A popular new biopic, Blumenort Rhapsody, reveals a side of Freddie Mercury’s life that has remained untold until now. From 1978-1982, the Queen singer secretly lived among the Mennonites of southern Manitoba. “At the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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