Mennonite Church Shut Down Has Anabaptists Reluctantly Attending Episcopal Churches


A nationwide Mennonite church shut down, now the longest in U.S. history, has Anabaptists scrambling to figure out “where the heck we’re going to worship on Sunday morning.” Most have decided to give Episcopal churches a whirl.

“This Mennonite church shut down is really putting us in a bind,” said Mr. Bender. “What can we do? We’ve gotta do something with our Sunday mornings and the football games don’t start until the afternoon…”

The Benders and millions of other Mennonites across the country have had to adapt to the Mennonite church shut down.

“We’ll have to baptize our infants and learn some new songs until this whole shut down thing is resolved,” said Mr. Bender. “The one advantage, though, is that we’ve been given free rein to booze it up during the shut down. We’re Episcopal now, after all.”

The Benders have been very confused at various points during the services, but eventually got used to it.

“They speak English and sing all the wrong hymns,” said Bender, “and they don’t eat nearly as many German sausages as they should!”

It’s not known when the Mennonite church shut down will end, but there are more than a few Mennos who are hoping it lasts a little longer.

(photo credit: Dennis Jarvis/CC)

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