Heather Stefanson Finds Huge Mound of Zoat Left Over in Premier’s Office


After two months in office, Manitoba’s first Mennonite premier sure knacked a lot of zoat. This, according to new premier Heather Stefanson, who had to hire a backhoe to remove all of Kelvin Goertzen’s sunflower shells.

“I’d never seen such a sight in all my life,” said Premier Stefanson. “Well, once when I attended a softball game in Morden it got pretty bad, but otherwise this is totally unprecedented.”

Premier Goertzen had apparently been opening bag after bag of Ronnie’s, such that the zoat shells were three feet deep when he vacated office this afternoon.

“What else do you expect?” said Goertzen. “Once you open a bag, you just can’t stop. Two months of zoat is a heck of a lot of zoat! If you think this is bad, you should have seen Brad Wall’s office after ten years!”

Experts are suggesting this may be the largest pile of zoat ever found in Manitoba, although Shelly Glover is already demanding a recount.

(photo credit: Blondinrikard Fröberg and Tony Webster/CC)

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