Mennonite Man Shocks Relatives by Shooting with Middle Finger


Mr. Dueck had all the frintschoft in a tizzy this past week after he sunk twenty after twenty with his middle finger.

“I always knips better with the middle one,” said Mr. Dueck. “I just get more torque out of it for some reason.”

For years the local EMMMMC church has required all knipsers to use their index finger, but Mr. Dueck has never been one to play by the rules.

“Oba, those people. I can knips with any finger I choose!” said Mr. Dueck. “They’re all just jealous because they can’t keep their pieces on the board!”

After Mr. Dueck went five rounds without missing a single shot, some of the grandkids were knipsing with their middle fingers as well.

“Diewel! What a bad influence that man is,” exclaimed Grandma Dueck. “I’m just glad no one took any photos of the crokinole tournament this year. That would sure be embarrassing.”

A recent study out of Northern Mennonite University suggests that the middle finger shoots with a full 37% better accuracy than any other digit.

Heather Stefanson Finds Huge Mound of Zoat Left Over in Premier's Office
Mennonite Man Reads Full Daily Bonnet Article After Years of Just Reading the Headlines