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The Daily Bonnet

The Most Famous People with Every Mennonite Surname

July 24, 2024 Andrew

Have you ever wondered who is the most famous person with your surname? No? Well, you’re just being humble, I suppose. And that’s okay. But for those Mennonites who have less-than-traditional views on this matter, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Couple Plasters their Refrigerator with Christmas Cards from Politicians

December 7, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local couple Pete and Anne Dueck have plastered their refrigerator with their most precious holiday items – Christmas cards from area politicians. “Ahhh, Ted, you shouldn’t have,” said Pete, scrambling to find a […]

Unger Games

Andrew Harris Shatters Record for Most Rushing Yards by a Steinbacher

August 21, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON In what is certainly the most impressive feat of his illustrious career, Toronto Argos running back Andrew Harris has just become the first Steinbacher ever to reach 10,000 career rushing yards. “I know […]

Unger Suspicion

Heather Stefanson Finds Huge Mound of Zoat Left Over in Premier’s Office

November 2, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After two months in office, Manitoba’s first Mennonite premier sure knacked a lot of zoat. This, according to new premier Heather Stefanson, who had to hire a backhoe to remove all of Kelvin […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Sends Emergency Supply of Farmer Sausage to Alberta

September 20, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Cargo trains of farmer sausage have been loaded up in Winnipeg and are on their way to Edmonton this week after a massive sausage shortage struck the oil-rich province. “They always say Manitoba’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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