Spoiler Isn’t Making Your Car Any Faster, It’s Just Making You Look that Much More Desperate


A new report indicates that putting a spoiler on your Honda Civic or Mazda 3 does not turn it into a Ferrari, but might just possibly get the laughs of everyone around you.

“I don’t get,” said Billy Fehr of Winkler. “My Main Street lap time is exactly the same. It’s like that spoiler does nothing at all except make my car look just a little bit more douchey.”

Billy and his buddies have also straight-piped their exhaust, and yet their cars still don’t go as fast as an actual sports car.

“I can’t figure it out,” said Billy Fehr. “It’s as if no one really cares about my desperate attempts for attention at all. In fact, it seems like I’m annoying people more than anything. Weird …”

Billy’s friend Tim was not nearly as confused as his friend.

“Yeah, annoying old people is our whole goal here, isn’t it?” said Tim. “We sure aren’t picking up any girls now are we?”

(photo credit: Bill Stilwell/CC)

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