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heather stefanson

Unger Suspicion

Tories Target Mennonite Voters with Dutch Blitz-Themed Attack Ads

October 2, 2023 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB In an effort to unite the province with an uplifting message of hope, Manitoba Tories have purchased up all the advertising space on the Mennonite satire website The Unger Review, plastering the website […]

Unger the Influence

Manitoba Plans to Have 2 Million Friesens By the Year 2030

September 18, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Conservative leader Heather Stefanson has laid out her aggressive plan to increase Manitoba’s population to 2 million people by the year 2030 using the province’s most efficient reproduction machine: Friesens. “Really, I’m just […]

Unger & Thirst

Entire Province Forced to Live Like Mennonites as Liquor Stores Close

August 11, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s Mennonite population surged to 1.4 million this week as liquor stores across the province have forced everyone to become teetotalers. “What the hell am I going to drink this weekend?” said local […]

The Daily Bonnet

Province Totally Gives Up on Oma Krahn Fight

January 13, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MENNOTOBA After getting their behinds whooped by a kindly Mennonite grandmother for the past couple weeks, the provincial government has decided that this Oma Krahn is just too much to handle and will no […]

Unger Suspicion

Heather Stefanson Finds Huge Mound of Zoat Left Over in Premier’s Office

November 2, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After two months in office, Manitoba’s first Mennonite premier sure knacked a lot of zoat. This, according to new premier Heather Stefanson, who had to hire a backhoe to remove all of Kelvin […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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