Colicky Baby Jesus Completely Ruins Living Nativity


The annual living nativity was brought to a standstill last night after the young infant playing baby Jesus just didn’t stop crying. The incessant crying was so disruptive that the braying donkeys could scarcely be heard above the furor.

“I don’t know what got into him,” shouted Ethan’s panicked mother Rachel. “Maybe he’s teething or maybe he just didn’t like being held by the young lady playing Mary.”

Young Ethan’s screaming threw off the Magi, who completely forgot their lines and accidentally dumped the myrrh and frankincense all over Shepherd #2, who immediately broke out in hives and had to be rushed to a nearby clinic for treatment.

“I feel really bad for the girl playing Mary. She was in tears by the end of it,” said Rachel. “I hope this experience doesn’t scare her off of having her own children some day.”

Joseph had to restrain the donkey and cows who were getting more than a little restless with all the noise.

“That jackass was really hard to handle,” explained Pete, who played Joseph. “I’ve learned my lesson. Never let a teething or colicky baby near a donkey. A screaming baby. A braying and kicking donkey. That’s a bad combination. They should reamain apart. Far far apart.”

In the midst of the commotion, Pastor Tim attempted to settle everyone down.

“Let’s all sing ‘Away in the Manger,'” yelled Tim to the quickly dispersing audience. “Little Lord Jesus no crying he makes.”

But it was too late, as the crowd were already warming up their cars and franticly scraping the ice off their windshields. Pastor Tim suggested that young Ethan will not be asked back again next year. The church is hoping a new, more compliant, child will be born between now and next Christmas.

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