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Unger Suspicion

All Air Canada Flights to be Equipped with Screaming Infants

September 4, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Starting this fall, the coach section of every Air Canada flight will come fully equipped with a minimum of one very agitated baby. “It’s just one more way we can better service our […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Population Set to Pass 8 Billion ‘Any Day Now’

August 18, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB According to a UN study, the Friesen population is projected to reach 8,000,000,000 within days. The Friesen Population Clock was at 7.97 billion this week and statisticians are on pins and needles waiting […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Passes “Auntie Jen” Test

April 27, 2022 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON There was much celebration in the Janz household this weekend after Diane revealed two solid lines on her “Auntie Jen” test. “OMG, I’m going to be an auntie,” yelled excited sister Jennifer. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Mother and Daughter Give Birth Just Hours Apart

January 16, 2021 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON Edith Funk, 42, of St. Jacobs gave birth to a bouncing baby boy named Jacob just three hours before her daughter Bethany, 20, gave birth to Edith’s first granddaughter Breanne. “I was […]

Unger Conviction

New Mennonite Parents Invite Friends Over for ‘Denomination Reveal Party’

September 20, 2020 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Thomas, 19, and Mary, 18, got married just seven months ago and have invited all the Fehrs and a few Friesens over for the “Faith Reveal Party” of their first child this Sunday […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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