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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Confuses Genealogy Website for Dating App

October 8, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Aghast at the prices of more famous ancestry websites, local woman Amy Penner decided to subscribe to Grandma’s Window, a much more affordable website dedicated exclusively to Russian Mennonite genealogy. The problem […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Calls Wrong Number, Doesn’t Notice for More than Forty Minutes

October 1, 2018 Andrew

MEADOW LAKE, SK Earlier this week, Mrs. Susie Berg, 71, attempted to call her friend Mrs. Helen Reimer to catch up on all the latest gossip. She dialed the number and instantly launched into the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Breaking News! No Abes Running for Steinbach City Council this Term!

September 30, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s the most shocking revelation of the 2018 campaign season: for the first time in Steinbach history, the list of city council candidates is completely Abe-less. Instead the list of candidates includes an […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Drives All the Way to Winnipeg with His Turn Signal On

September 29, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Peter Sawatzky, 72, is being hailed as a hero in Winkler this week after successfully driving all the way to the Costco on McGillvray with his right turn signal on. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Signs You’re Becoming a Mennonite

September 28, 2018 Andrew

The world of the Englisher is one filled with excitement and adult beverages and over the years many a darper has moved to the city and abandoned their Mennonite traditions. On occasion, however, it goes […]

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