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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Society of Letters Announces New ‘Fuela Reimer Literary Award’

July 20, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In a press conference on Tuesday, a spokesperson from The Mennonite Society of Letters announced an inaugural literary award named in honour of Abraham ‘Fuela’ Reimer, a 19th century Russian Mennonite of some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Launches Kickstarter Campaign for Crokinole iPhone App

July 18, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB As increasing number of Mennonite seniors take to occupying their time with crokinole, local man Abe Kehler, is hoping to lure them over to a more modern version of the game. “You just knips the pieces […]

The Daily Bonnet

All the Jokes in Plautdietsch Bible are Lost in Translation

July 17, 2016 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, CHIHUAHUA, MEXICO With the complete Old and New Testament now successfully translated into the Plautdietsch language, outsiders are having difficulty catching all the jokes. “My oma and opa will read something from the Book of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Editorial: Should Steinbach Separate From Canada?

June 30, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB I’ve taken a break from scrolling Tinder while my wife is at Superstore to talk to you about values. Yes, values. I mean the traditional Mennonite values of free-market ‘every man for himself’ capitalism, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mother-of-the-Bride Insists on Having “The Talk” Moments Before Daughter Walks Down the Aisle

June 25, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After neglecting to say anything at all about the topic over the past twenty years, concerned mother Brenda Harms waited at the doors of the Steinbach Gospel Mennonite Church for her daughter to […]

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