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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Protestors Toss Borscht at Van Gogh Painting

October 20, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Protesting the high cost of sunflower seeds, angry Mennonites hurled margarine containers of warmed-up cabbage borscht at the giant Van Gogh painting in Altona, Manitoba this morning. “Well, they attempted to, anyway,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Potluck Offers Incredible Array of Macaroni Salads

October 16, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Attendees at the North Goshen Mennonite Church potluck this past Sunday were in left in absolute shock at the diverse array of macaroni salads on offer. “I’ve never seen anything like it. It […]

Unger & Thirst

Failure to Preheat the Oven Has Mennonite Family Scrambling for Chicken Chef

October 12, 2022 Andrew

CARMAN, MB The Hiebert family of Carman were all raring up for their first non-illegal Thanksgiving dinner in three years, when Taunte Helen’s failure to preheat the oven caused such a long delay that they […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Food Critic Demands Larger Portions

October 1, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK World-renowned Mennonite food critic Klaus Barkman has been hitting the streets of Saskatoon this week to ask one question, “does portion size really matter?” “The results shocked me. Menno after Menno said, oba, […]

Unger & Thirst

Daring Mennonite Couple to Try Costco Farmer Sausage

September 25, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB This evening at faspa, the Wiebes of Vankla will be the first ever southern Manitobans to eat the farmer sausage that, apparently, you can get at Costco. “Costco formarvorscht? I didn’t even know […]

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