Vaccinated 40-Year-Old Suddenly Has Kick-Ass Cell Phone Coverage


When local farmer Dale Krause signed up to get vaccinated this week, he had no idea of all the added benefits the shot would bring.

“Suddenly I’m getting a full four bars even when I’m out by Tolstoi or Gardenton,” said Krause. “I’m getting 5G coverage and the signal is clear as a bell.”

Krause said he used his phone all day and even could get texts from his wife while in the middle of the field.

“Well, that’s one thing I don’t like about this awesome coverage,” said Krause. “A man’s tractor is his castle. Sometimes it’s good to be alone, you know what I mean?”

Krause has already written a letter to Bill Gates for finally improving his cell phone coverage when Rogers and Bell have so utterly failed to do so for so many decades.

“I’ve got no complaints,” said Krause. “I’ve lowered my Covid risk, I’m doing my part to help my elderly neighbours…plus I can finally download pictures of Jennifer Lawrence when I’m on the manure spreader.”

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