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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Church Approves Muting Pastor’s Mic at Upcoming Service

October 22, 2020 Andrew

NASHVILLE, TN Attendees at the upcoming South Nashville Mennonite Church service this Sunday will be given the ability to mute the pastor whenever they think he’s off base or speaking out of turn. “After last […]

Unger Conviction

Congregation Forced to Repeat “Good Morning” Over and Over Until it’s Loud Enough for the Pastor

October 20, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Darryl Friesen, 41, the hip new associate pastor at West Seminole Mennonite Church, took the stage for his sermon on Judges 19 this Sunday and was shocked by the half-hearted “good morning” he […]

Unger Conviction

Christian Church Suddenly Realizes They’ve Been Singing Songs By Heretics For Decades

October 17, 2020 Andrew

KANSAS CITY, KS Since the mid-90s the EBMC church of Kansas City has been bringing catchy songs that were popular on Christian radio into their Sunday morning worship “set”, all under the assumption that anything […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Church to Host Weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’

October 16, 2020 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, ON The Schratjlijch Gospel Church is spreading more than just the good news this week after Pastor Dave announced the congregation would be hosting a weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’ starting this Sunday at 12:30 right […]

Unger Conviction

‘Unger’s Bible Dictionary’ Not Nearly As Hilarious As Mennonite Man Was Hoping

October 13, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Assuming absolutely anything with the name Unger on it must be absolutely hilarious, local man Mr. Falk decided he’d pick up a copy of that Bible dictionary he’d seen kicking around. “I’ve been […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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