Steinbach Offers ‘Gorgeous New Pool Facilities’ to Rural Residents


Residents of neighbouring rural areas are being offered “first dibs” on some gorgeous new swimming facilities on the corner of Reimer and Pine.

“It’s the least we can do to show our appreciation for the economic impact these people have in our city,” said a local recreation organizer. “We’ll also be renting out rubber boots so kids will have a jolly old time splashing in that Reimer and Pine puddle.”

The new pool is set to be open sometime this spring when things start to melt a bit.

“We’ll let you know when we’re ready to open to the public. Until then, you can register online to get your name on the list. If you live outside the city limits you get priority registration for our new ‘Rural Friends’ pool!”

Swimming lessons at the puddle will be taught by cranky old Mr. Wiens, a man who is well into his 90s, and lives just a few doors down.

“He’s always yelling at pedestrians anyway. We figure he’ll be good at this new job.”

The new Steinbach pool for rural neighbours has been given a budget of $17.50 a year, just enough to pay some guy to clean up the Slurpee cups and sweep out the cigarette butts once in a while.

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