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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Menno Simons to Be Canonized as a Saint by the Catholic Church

July 10, 2016 Andrew

VATICAN CITY Sixteenth century Anabaptist leader Menno Simons has reached all the necessary prerequisites for canonization and will officially be declared a Saint by Pope Francis in August. As an ecumenical move, the pontiff said […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor Drops Five Infants During Last Sunday’s Child Dedication Service

June 3, 2016 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN A reverend of a local Mennonite church has been sent on sabbatical after accidentally dropping nearly half a dozen infants in a single child dedication service. “That Bentley Hiebert is a slippery […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Names Children After Really Obscure Old Testament Characters

June 2, 2016 Andrew

MILFORD, NE Tired of common Bible names like Mary, Jacob, Abraham, and Rebecca, local Mennonite couple, Mr. and Mrs. Jacob R. Miller have named each of their eleven children after lesser-known Bible characters. “Just way […]

Unger Conviction

Steinbach Residents Flock to Mini-churches Across the City

May 27, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s called the Tiny Church Movement, and it’s taking the nation by storm. In Steinbach, Manitoba, area residents are abandoning the large megachurches in favour of something a little more intimate. “We’re getting […]

Unger Conviction

LGBT Church Opens Doors in Southeast Manitoba

May 19, 2016 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB A small Mennonite town in southeast Manitoba has become home to the first LGBT church in the region. Landmark Gospel Brethren Tabernacle opened its doors in April and, according to senior pastor Benjamin Friesen, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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