REGINA, SK
Moments after striking a deal to get oil to flow through the Strait of Hormuz, American officials had their eyes on yet another barrier to trade – the massive landmass known as Saskatchewan.
“Look at what those nasty Canadians have done,” said President Trump. “They’ve been very bad to us. Very bad. They’ve placed this huge land barrier right in between Alberta and the Hudson Bay. Very bad.”
According to the Americans, the Canadians have deliberately hidden all their oil thousands of miles from any waterway.
“You’ve got the oil in Alberta and you put up Rocky Mountains on the one side and a massive wide-open prairie on the other,” said Trump. “How do you expect us to get access to that oil?”
The Americans are now proposing that the entire province of Saskatchewan be removed immediately. However, Canadian officials are saying they don’t have the technology to remove a landmass of that size even if they wanted to.
“We put it there years ago and I’m not sure we can just get rid of it now,” said Prime Minister Mark Carney. “Besides, I hear they have oil there, too.”
The news of oil in Saskatchewan had the Americans demanding the return of ancient glacial Lake Aggasiz so that they could get their ships closer to the source.
